So many blessings came about as a result of my Dark Side of Narcissus: Healing from Toxic Narcissism class, which I taught a couple of weeks ago. There does seem to be an ongoing need for this class, and I will probably offer it again in the Spring. It was fascinating to explore within the group the connection between toxic narcissism and the toxic masculine--so many implications for the collective at this time! I hope to dig into this more in the future.
In the meantime, I've compiled some resources together for support. This is by no means comprehensive, but rather a starting point to build on in the future. These resources are intended for those who are surviving or have survived a relationship with a toxic narcissist. I've included a few options for how to assess whether you are dealing with a pathological narcissist, and where on the spectrum they might fall, since this seems to be particularly challenging for people. May you be blessed on your journey towards liberation.
Borderline Personality Disorder and NPD share some similarities. A borderline will often attract a NPD partner, for instance. Here's a good article on how to understand some of the differences between these two types.
If you identify as a Scapegoat - The Scapegoated Child - Set UP
If you identify as the Golden Child - The Terrible of the Golden Child in the Narcissistic Family: Part I
If you are co-parenting with a narc - Forget Co-Parenting with a Narcissist, Do This Instead
If you feel you may have married a narc - 20 Glaring Signs You are Married to a Narcissist
I highly recommend signing up for Melanie's newsletter bc she's so generous with her resources and you can then access her 50 Traits of a Narcissist Worksheet
Flower essences are perfect complement to making sense of and healing from this kind of trauma. Flower essences reveal a deeper dimension of the self and spiritual support team to activate greater inner-resources and resilience. Narcs typically attract highly empathic people, and I've found that empaths respond very well to flower essences given their sensitivity to emotional and subtle energy.
The flower essences I utilize in this way center around:
• helping the self feel safe, protected, and relaxed: St. Johnswort, Garlic, Rue, Mountain Pennyroyal, Yarrow
• helping the self come into balance, specifically through integration: Echinacea and Chestnut Bud
• helping the heart heal and connect with divine love: Motherwort, Hawthorn, Rose, Ghost Pipe
• connecting you with your angels, guides, and ancestors: Angelica, Forget-me-Not, Joshua Tree, and Diopside gem elixir
• engendering acceptance, forgiveness, compassion, and trust in oneself - Cerato, Pine, Willow, Holly, Hyssop
EMDR - EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It sounds really technical, but don't be put off. This is particularly effective approach for reprocessing and clearing trauma. It's highly scientifically validated, if you are looking for something more traditional.
Family Constellation Work - This is a modality I highly recommend for working ancestrally, on the spiritual plane. When a physical dialogue isn't possible, healing can occur on other levels. We are not doing this work alone, we are doing it with the help of our entire lineage.
Work with a specialist - a counselor, therapist, or psychologist who specializes in personality disorders. I've found that even highly trained practitioners may not understand personality disorders unless they have either studied them extensively or had personal experience with them.
• Hang out it nature, nature recalibrates our frequency to its natural state.
• Spend time with people who support and love you unconditionally, these people will help you raise your frequency.
• Spend time with animals, animals entrain with our hearts and help our hearts heal from trauma.
• Anything to activate your parasympathetic nervous or rest-and-digest system: meditation, restorative yoga, warm baths, wrapping yourself up in a blanket